The First Date 10 Commandments

10 First Date DONT'S for guys

1. He's late. Don't you know you have to be early for this one? Girls run 10-15 minutes late, and until you are comfortable enough to tell us how rude and annoying we're being...."take your time" is the only thing we want to hear.

2. He makes no plan. I'm all for spontaneity, but there is nothing worse than aimlessly walking around with some guy I barely know. Girls like guys who can take charge, and this is an obvious red flag you have no idea what you are doing. Try to fake it in the beginning. We'll figure out soon enough you are clueless.

3. He asks you questions about sports. Ok, maybe some girls looooooove talking about sports...but you need to remember this isn't a bromance. Also, most of the time when girls say they love sports...they are just trying to make you think they are, like, so chill. Whatever.

4. He comments about prices on the menu. I just think this is tacky. First off, most girls don't expect to be taken to some expensive and pretentious restaurant right of the bat. I'm being serious. If you can't afford it, don't take us. We have the rest of our lives to complain about it.

5. He talks about money. This is a sensitive topic, and quite frankly, a private one. It's obnoxious when you brag, and it's obnoxious when you talk about what you wish you had. Besides, we're silently judging you...and silence is golden. 

6. He answers the phone or text messages. Listen, if it's an emergency at work...or your best friend got arrested and you're his one phone call, we will understand. (Although, these tend to be quite convenient excuses...) Other than that, go to the bathroom if you are dying to correspond with someone.



7. He is rude to the waiter/waitress. Lets all agree this is pretty standard.

8. He makes fun of you. This one is tricky, because I love nothing more than poking fun. However, on the first date a girl doesn't want to feel embarrassed. Even if she does laugh, chances are she's already put you in the toss out pile. Just wait a little while to give her a hard time.  Most likely, you'll already know if she has a sense of humor.


9. He asks inappropriate questions. What's your favorite sex position? How many guys have you slept with? Where's the craziest place you have ever done it? All fun topics. Just none of your business right now.

10. He doesn't pay. No, that is all.

and for girls....

1. She is extremely late. Again, 10-15 minutes....it's still kinda rude, but this is the only time you get this leeway. Anything over that, you should be slapped in the face.

2. She dresses slutty. Even if you are a slut, it is wise to tone it down. You aren't in a nightclub. Unless you're only looking to get laid, and never intend to see this guy again...leave something up to the imagination. Plus, he's already imagined you naked. 

3. She talks about her weight. Ok this one KILLS me. I have no problem admitting to this abiding habit. I'll ask my mom if I've gained weight everytime I see her (which is weekly), I'll complain to my friends...I've even gone as far as asking  complete strangers in clothing stores if I look fat. This isn't attractive behavior. Bite your tongue. If I can refrain from talking about it, anybody can. 

4. She doesn't eat. This is really annoying. Girls, even if you normally don't eat, (I admire your willpower....) or you are a bona fide closet eater...guys get extremely turned off by this. Let's keep your eating disorder to yourself for a while.

5. She talks about how damaged she is from her last breakup. Seriously? Not cute. At least pretend you have your shit together.

6. She is dense. Do you need to bring up the Pythagorean Theorem? No. But if all you have to talk about is clothes, makeup, and how unfair daddy was by cutting you off financially....you probably should be dating a girl.

7. She bitches and complains. You best wait for this one.

8. She gets too drunk. He has to like you before he can let things like this slide.

9. She talks about money. Sensitive subject. Nobody's business. Obnoxious.

10. She talks about marriage. Guys get it. All girls want to get married. But they also don't want to hear about your timeline, the floral arrangements at your wedding, or the names of your non-existant children.

"sometimes they come to class, and say bonehead things, and we all laugh, of course. But no respectable girl actually dates them."